Being away from Utah (aka home) for the last two years has been an interesting journey. The search for a new place to call home is kind of like a corn maze (happy Halloween everyone!) with no destination and certainly no candy. Not having a place to call home can be a vacant and unsettling feeling. Something always seems to be either missing or far too prevalent. Now that we are home it feels like everything is in its harmonious place; the seasons, holidays, family, friends, food, etc. all seem to serendipitously fall into their natural order/cycles-so much so that if you aren’t careful things can pass without notice or question. Every other place seems to be filled with questions and concerns that confront the issue as to why it isn’t representative of home. I guess nothing teaches appreciation like losing even the most simple of things. Things once taken for such granted. The law of opposition at work I suppose (“don’t know what you’ve got until you’ve lost it.” and all that jazz). Now Gretel and I are making a special effort to absorb the things around us. To acknowledge the simple beauties of Utah, the laugh of a friend, and the warmth of a life adorned by family, a drive up the canyon, a car filled with memorable music and the familiarity of roads traveled a thousand times over, as opposed to monotone instructions of a GPS. I suppose the necessity of a GPS altogether signifies that somewhere in your life you are lost-either literally or metaphorically. Finally, ours has been silenced. As a wise man once read to me, “Home is in the teeth.” Also, the first song on our playlist has never seemed more appropriate. Here are the lyrics:

“In Your Eyes”

love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes

love, I don’t like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside